Top 5 Totally Logical Reasons You Do NOT Need Eye Protection in Pickleball

Top 5 Totally Logical Reasons You Do NOT Need Eye Protection in Pickleball
Brought to you by The National Coalition of People Who Learn Things the Hard Way

5. "Pros don’t wear them, so I don’t need to."
Yes, let’s model our life choices on people with Olympic reflexes and full-time coaches.
Anna-Leigh Waters wears eye protection. But sure, Todd-from-open-play, go rawdog your retinas.

4. "It makes me look like a dweeb."
Excellent point. Nothing screams cool like screaming in an ER with a scratched cornea.
Bonus style tip: eye patches are in this season. And next season. And for the rest of your life.

3. "I’ve never been hit in the eye before, so I probably won’t."
Right, just like how nobody ever got injured doing something until the moment they did.
It’s a numbers game, and you’re betting your depth perception against a $12 Amazon accessory.

2. "I’ve got fast hands. I’ll protect myself."
You will—from balls you see coming.
But the ones ricocheting off your partner’s paddle and skipping into your orbital socket like a demon racquetball? Yeah, good luck parrying that in 0.2 milliseconds, ninja.

1. "I only play singles, so I’m safe."
A charming lie.
One of our members took a shot directly off his own paddle edge. Into his eye. While playing singles.
He now sees three of every dink—and wears goggles.

Bonus #1:
If you’re scared glasses might fog up, here’s a novel solution:
Buy ones that don’t.
They exist. You know, like science.

Bonus #2:
“But what if I’d look kind of hot in an eye patch?”
Valid. You might.
But wouldn't you rather flirt with both eyes instead of explaining your retinal tear rotation schedule to your future spouse?

Final thought:
There are two kinds of people in pickleball:

• Those who wear eye protection

• And those who eventually do

Which one are you going to be?